Business Communication: Jargon for Daze (No Repeats, No AI)
Part 1: Morning Meditation for the Businessperson
I woke up and realized immediately that the situation was mission-critical and right where the rubber meets the road. I needed to circle back and reach out to key stakeholders asap to touch base and close the loop on how to secure quick wins by brainstorming out-of-the-box, game-changing, bleeding-edge solutions that proactively leveraged synergies and really moved the needle by picking the low-hanging fruit to get over the finish line, without reinventing the wheel. It was not lost on me that I had to quarterback this as I was knee-deep and couldn’t punt, throw it over the wall, or table the conversation. Rather, I had to take ownership, drill down, bite the bullet, pull the trigger, and knock it for six. After all, I had the bandwidth and was dealing with a matter of core values, not shooting from the hip. To succeed, I needed to swing for the fences, hit a home run, and make hay while the sun shone. It was here that the lightbulb went off and I had my aha moment; this was my moon shot, I needed to strike while the iron was hot, get my game face on...and make my morning coffee.
Part 2: Afternoon Meditation for the Businessperson
Morning meditation done, it’s time to cross the Rubicon, see what’s on the radar, scan the horizon, and jump on the AI bandwagon before the train leaves the station and the ship sales. At first, it’s a walk in the park slam dunk but then I run out of runway and am forced to get down to brass tacks, separate the wheat from the chaff, and dig deep to reassess the foundational imperatives of the digital-human interface. I am walking on eggshells down a slippery slope until I get in the groove and take the plunge to proactively reconceptualize best-of-breed practices, spearheading paradigm-busting transformations, and incubating 110% actionable cross-functional change catalysts. Once locked and loaded with 360-degree visibility, I pop the cork and pull back the curtain on a new chapter formulating backward-compatible network model architecture to maximize returns on the declining legacy value of the installed base of human capital while at the same time monetizing the 24/7 synergies of convergent platform-agnostic machine learning enabled automation - and do so without upsetting the apple cart and imposing negative synergies on delicate organizational eco-system dynamics. Converging on a simultaneous parallel track, I spearhead the development of state-of-the-art adaptive technologies for hedging against the lagging tail risk of an unintentionally sub-optimized value proposition, lest I end up ass over teakettle swimming with the fishes after jumping the shark and landing on a black swan. Sure, if you peek behind the curtain to where the sausage is being made for a reality check, it is obvious that all this high-minded future-forward ideation inevitably pulls the plug and puts to the sword the status quo by facilitating hyper-scale systemic disruption. But when push comes to shove, this is no tire-kicking, wheel-spinning exercise; the prime directive is to tee it up, put the hammer down, give’em both barrels, move the goalposts, and work tirelessly fabricating a false narrative of progressive corporate evolution, all the while bottoming-out and deep-sixing the inefficiencies of human-centered creativity.
That’s called progress.
Hmmm…is it lunchtime yet? Has Chat-BSG* taken my job?
Chat-BSG: Natural language corporate BS generation.
Part 3: Evening Meditation for the Businessperson
After a hard day, I am feeling the heat from the existential threat posed by CHAT BSG*. I stop bobbing and weaving just long enough to wonder if I am jumping at shadows, hearing voices, or becoming lost in my own echo chamber. After a moment of empowering self-reflection, I determine that just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean that a generative AI monster isn’t out to claim my scalp and render my services surplus to requirements. This thing is on my six, breathing down my neck, and threatening an extinction event with me as the hors d’oeuvre.
The saving grace right out of the chute is that this is not my first rodeo’s coming out party, and this is one old dog who can learn new tricks and change its stripes. With a hard stop looming, before I hit the wall and fall off the precipice, action item number one is to reestablish my baseline, recast my vision, recalibrate my mission, redefine my personal brand, and rediscover my own North Star. The modus operandi here is a top-down/bottom-up gap analysis identifying creative adjacencies, comparing benchmarks, removing pain points from the threat matrix, breaking down the silos, trimming the fat, running the numbers, zeroing in on core competencies, and establishing stretch goals and personal KPIs. Granted, it’s a hard nut to crack in an uphill battle, but I’m not boiling the ocean here at the end of the line where the buck stops. Time to acknowledge the challenging headwinds, drink the Kool-Aid, push the envelope, and get on board with all my ducks in a row.
After this self-actualizing brain dump, I clear my head with a creative thought shower and begin to pivot, retarget, and set my sites on crystalizing a robust new go-to-market strategy that will help me gain traction in the marketplace of tomorrow.
*CHAT-BSG: Natural Language Corporate BS Generation.